I landed a 6-figure job at 28, after years in school — and now my friends expect me to pay for every meal and trip. At what point do I cut them off?

Saira, 28, is thriving in a six-figure job after completing a demanding university program, including a master’s degree. Initially, her friends seemed supportive of her success, but over time, subtle resentment emerged.

At first, Saira was happy to celebrate her achievements by treating friends to dinners and covering costs when someone was short of money. However, she feels her generosity has turned into an expectation.

She increasingly feels pressured to pay for group expenses — like bar tabs or hotel rooms on trips. When she suggests splitting the bill, her friends sometimes joke that she’s being “cheap.”

Now, Saira is torn. Though Saira is fictional, she represents many Gen Z Canadians just like her who earn siginficantly more money than their friends. Should she continue subsidizing her friends’ lifestyles, or, as she puts it, “Is it time to cut them off?”

Friendship and money

With a challenging labour market and almost half of university students graduating with student debt — according to Statistics Canada (1) — income disparities between friends can feel especially stark for Gen Zs, a generation that’s still finding its financial footing.

However, that's not to say that your friendships are doomed if you start out-earning your friends. It’s an opportunity for honest, compassionate conversations that can strengthen bonds and help navigate other ups and downs that may come along.

In Saira’s case, she can explain that while she earns a solid salary, she still budgets for living expenses and long-term financial goals. She might suggest lower-cost group activities that everyone can enjoy, and check that everyone feels comfortable splitting bills.

She may also want to reflect on whether the group's spending — frequent dinners out and trips — is sustainable. Between the rise of “little treat culture” and social media (2), this new form of keeping up with the Joneses may be contributing to their financial strain.

Saira should also ask herself whether she’s fueling the problem — if she gravitates toward upscale outings or pricey vacations, her friends’ reluctance to split costs may be a passive way of signalling that they can’t keep up with her lifestyle.

They may even genuinely assume that she can easily pay for these indulgences and overestimate her disposable income.

Money matters to Gen Z

According to a survey by Bread Financial (3), 21% of respondents across age groups have lost a friend over money, and 30% admitted to borrowing money from a friend without paying it back.

Keeping up with busy social lives can also lead to bad money decisions, with 67% of Gen Z admitting to breaking their budgets to spend time with friends.

Still, 65% of Gen Z report feeling financially compatible with their friends — a higher percentage than older generations. That suggests a well-timed, honest conversation from Saira could help resolve tensions before it erodes her friendships.

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Advice for navigating money conversations with friends

In order to have a productive and empathetic conversation with her friends, Saira should:

Frame it around personal goals. She can explain that she’s trying to save for a major expense, like a home or long-term financial goal. Framing it this way keeps the conversation productive and focused on her needs, rather than her friends’ spending habits.

Avoid blame or judgement. Using “I” statements and staying neutral in tone helps prevent defensiveness. Criticizing or accusing friends may escalate the conversation into conflict rather than cooperation.

Set clear boundaries. If her friends continue to expect her to cover costs, Saira may need to limit how often she joins in — or choose activities that better align with her budget.

If Saira’s friends react badly to the discussion, she may want to consider the advisability of continuing as a part of the group at all.

Article sources

We rely only on vetted sources and credible third-party reporting. For details, see our editorial ethics and guidelines.

Statistics Canada (1); The Kit (2); Bread Financial (3)