My aunt, 69, recently confessed she lost her entire $270K life savings in a romance scam. Where does she go from here?

With the increasing popularity of dating apps and social media, romance scams have been on the rise in recent years.

In 2023, over $50 million was lost to romance scams in Canada according to the Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre.

And while that might seem like a lot of money in itself, it’s important to note that total only represents those who reported the scam.

As you may understand, some victims might have been far too embarrassed to report the crime and admit that they were swindled out of money. In fact, one Reddit user recently shared that their aunt is one of those silent victims.

As they explained in their Reddit post, the user’s aunt — who was not named, but let’s call her Shirley — lost $270,000 in a romance scam and decided not to report the crime to the police. Making matters worse, Shirley is retired and is now forced to sell her home, and her ex — she’s also in the middle of a divorce — is entitled to one-third of the proceeds from the sale of the house.

The Reddit user, concerned about their aunt’s wellbeing, now wants to help Shirley recover financially and get back on her feet. Unfortunately, the best course of action would have been to immediately report the crime to the police and the Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre, but that doesn't mean this Reddit user can't be helpful.

How to stop the financial bleeding

First things first, it’s critical to make sure that Shirley doesn’t lose any more money to the scammer. The Reddit user can start by helping her with securing all of her accounts with new passwords. The next step would be to alert all of Shirley’s financial institutions and block further communication from the scammer.

If Shirley’s accounts are completely compromised, consider helping her set up a new bank account and move any money that she still has into that secure location. Once the remaining funds are secured, it’s time to assess the damage.

Shirley lost $270,000 to the scammer, but as the Reddit user notes, her financial troubles don’t end there. During this ordeal, Shirley racked up $40,000 in credit card debt. She also borrowed money from family and friends, and she still has to pay off her mortgage once she’s sold her house. This, as you can see, is a tough situation for a retiree who lives on a fixed income and recently lost her life savings.

The next step would be to tally up Shirley’s current balances owed in order to determine the full extent of the financial damage. After a careful look at her debt, the Reddit user might want to urge Shirley to reconsider filing a report with the police. While Shirley may be too embarrassed to admit her mistake, filing a report and kickstarting an investigation can potentially identify the scammer and assist in recovering the lost funds.

Getting the money back may be top of mind, but it’s important to be aware of the danger of recovery scams. These scams offer to help with recovering lost money from an online incident, but the scammers charge an upfront fee while requesting personal information, which could set Shirley up to be targeted again in the future.

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How to rebuild your finances after a scam

After getting the authorities on the case, the next step is for Shirley to start rebuilding her finances. She can start by creating an inventory of all of her remaining assets, including the money she stands to make from selling her home. If she hasn’t yet applied for Canada Pension Plan (CPP) benefits, applying now could provide a much-needed income stream.

But before digging deep into Shirley’s financial situation, this Reddit user would be wise to connect their aunt with a financial advisor. This is a unique situation that requires careful assessment and planning, and a professional advisor can help with creating a plan to pay off debts and rebuild Shirley’s finances.

Unfortunately, this situation will force Shirley into making some tough decisions that could significantly alter her retirement plans — one of those tough decisions might include declaring bankruptcy. With this in mind, Shirley could use all of the professional help she can get. A financial advisor can also help Shirley with creating a budget, as Shirley will likely need to make some spending cuts in order to make ends meet with her reduced net worth.

Shirley will also need to seek out an affordable housing situation, which might involve downsizing to a smaller place or renting out rooms in her current home to offset the costs. In a more drastic move, she might consider relocating to a more affordable city. A financial advisor’s assistance can help Shirley with navigating all of these big decisions.

However, even with a financial advisor’s help, it will be tough for Shirley to rebuild her finances without a steady income stream. With this in mind, Shirley might consider taking on a part-time job or building a flexible side hustle so that she can use the incoming funds to tackle her financial priorities.

It won’t be easy, but with a steady part-time income stream and help from a professional financial advisor, Shirley can put her best foot forward in her effort to rebuild her finances.

Sources

1. CTV News: Canadians lose $50 million to romance scams in 2023: CAFC by Pat Foran (Feb 14, 2024)

2. Reddit: Scammed out of life savings - seeking next steps