My adult son works full time and lives at home — but refuses to pay rent. How do I set boundaries and protect my own finances?

For many Canadian families, the concept of a “childhood home” has changed as a growing number of adult children — and their parents — are learning that the place where they grew up has remained their primary residence well into their 20s and 30s.

In a 2024 study, the Vanier Institute reported that as of 2021, nearly half (45.8%) of Canadians aged 20 to 29 were living with at least one parent, up from 32.1% a decade earlier (1). Broader age ranges revealed a similar trend, with 35.1% of young adults aged 20 to 34 living with one of their parents. The highest of these numbers resided in Ontario (41.9%) and Nunavut (43.7%) (2).

Canadian researchers and housing experts say the country’s housing affordability crisis has been a significant hurdle to adult children leaving their childhood home to live on their own. Young adults between 20 and 35 report high levels of worry about housing costs, with almost 60% saying rising rent and home prices make it harder for them to strike out and form an independent household (3).

With these data points in mind, imagine this hypotehtical scenario. You're 29-year-old son is living with you, and asking him for $650 in monthly rent is offering him a great deal he shouldn’t refuse. You’re taking on more than just caring for his financial security — you’re also focusing on building a solid retirement fund for your own long-term security.

If your son refuses to financially contribute to the household, it’s time to have a serious conversation to set some boundaries and expectations.

The problem with supporting adult children

A 2024 TD Bank Group survey found that 57% of parents expect to financially support their adult children, with many doing so due to rising cost of living and housing affordability (4).

Similarly, a survey from BMO shows that nearly half (45%) of parents and grandparents plan to provide financial support for their adult children or grandchildren in the next year (5).

To be fair, the economy is tough on everyone, and young adults are no exception. Rising prices have made covering the costs for daily living and housing increasingly challenging. In the spring of 2024, over half (56%) of those aged 15 to 34 reported feeling “very concerned” about housing affordability due to an inflated economy (6).

Based on these stats, it’s understandable that adults in their 20s and 30s might need to live at home while they get on their feet. But the longer you provide financial support to them, the less money you can invest into your retirement savings, ultimately delaying your own long-term goals like having enough money to support yourself in your sunset years.

If financially supporting your children is hindering your ability to save, it’s time to break the cycle.

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Setting boundaries and expectations

You may be reluctant to start a conversation with your adult kids about financial responsibility, and you aren’t alone. A 2025 RBC poll found over half (53%) of Canadian parents are fearful about their children’s financial future (7).

Furthermore, 71% say this added layer of stress, combined with concerns about their own finances, is taking a toll on their well-being. And yet a large share still delay having the conversation with their children until the “right moment” comes, or their child raises the topic. Money matters can be a touchy subject within families, even when both parents and children share similar concerns about their financial well-being.

That said, the sooner you have open discussions about money, the better. In fact, you’ll do your adult children a favour by replacing their reliance on you with financial confidence and independence.

First, know their numbers, like how much they earn against their own expenses such as vehicle costs or student loan repayments. Use this information to establish ground rules on how much you expect them to pitch in to live under your roof. Make the connection between how their presence at home translates to higher utility bills and grocery costs.

Then talk about your own financial situation and goals, whether that’s setting aside savings or retiring with enough money to support your own independent living. Explaining that you need your son’s $650 monthly contribution to bump up your Registered Retirement Savings Plan (RRSP) or Tax-Free Savings Account (TFSA) to help see you through retirement might resonate.

Ask your adult children about their own goals. You may even want to work on a budget together or connect them with a financial adviser.

Bottom line

Canadian parents aren’t alone in feeling financially stretched as more adult children stay or return to their family home due to housing costs and financial pressure. But indefinitely supporting grown kids can put your own long-term security or retirement at risk.

Set clear expectations, discuss shared household expenses and offer to help your child build necessary financial skills to ease the strain on the both of you. Ultimately, prioritizing your own goals while encouraging their independence benefits the entire household.

—With files from Melanie Huddart

Article sources

We rely only on vetted sources and credible third-party reporting. For details, see our editorial ethics and guidelines.

Vanier Institute (1); Statistics Canada (2), (3), (6); TD Stories (4); BMO (5); RBC (7)